No, no, it's me, not Jack Sparrow.

All I've wanted for three years now is a new strand of pearls. Real pearls. Something to make me feel elegant. 

Not like the strand I bought at Walmart when I was 19 (that I still have). But hey, who knew that $5 investment would last over 7 years? I certainly didn't.  But you know what my sweet husband bought me for Christmas? Yup. You guessed it.

Pens. Multi-colored clicky pens. 

And a sparkling, shiny perfectly polished strand of pearls. Every southern girl's dream! Oh, I looked elegant. I sparkled! I radiated! 'Bless your heart' and 'puttin' on the dog' became much more common phrases around our home. But like all good things, it had to end. I did the unthinkable.

I lost them. 

I still don't like to think of it. I'm still fuming. I only enjoyed those beauties for a month! And I still don't know what happened to them.

Weeks passed. Before I knew it, my birthday warranted another gift-giving extravaganza. After school that day, Eric presented me with another long, narrow white box. I giggled in response. I knew immediately I'd gotten my pearls back!

And I did. BUT. They weren't the right color or size strand. Unbeknownst to me, Eric took them back to surprise me with the kind I really wanted. Just two days ago, he presented me with another white box yet again. When he pulled them out, I gasped in amazement.

THEY. WERE. PERFECT.

I could FINALLY retire my Walmart pearls. Those suckers actually broke years ago, but I jimmy-rigged them to stay hooked. I waited until today to wear the new strand because I had the perfect outfit to wear with them. 

Ladies, you know what I mean. 

I only had them around my neck for 10 seconds when they fell off. Silly me. I must not have clasped it all the way! I put them on again. They fell off again. I put them on...they fell off...

NOOOO!!!!!!!

Not again! Thus, we must venture back to the store to return my pearls. I'm fairly certain the curse of the pearl belongs to me, not Jack Sparrow.

::Sigh:: Until then, I have my good ol' trusty Walmart strands to tide me over.