I was born and raised in Alabama, moved to Rexburg, Idaho to attend BYU-I, met a dashing young man from Georgia whom I later married, moved back to Bama to work as a math teacher, and finally relocated to Florida for the hubs to attend physical therapy school.
The LONG version:
When I think on my childhood, I think of three things: chocolate chip cookies for dinner, running around barefoot on a baseball field, and family sock wars. Case and point - I have the greatest family ever. Sorry to everyone else. One day I could have been preparing for a softball tournament against a tough opponent, and the next day I was primping for my Nutcracker debut. Somewhere in between I'd squeeze in an orchestra concert and maybe a choral concert where I'd sing a song about going to China with Santa Claus (just ask my mom). I WAS SO BLESSED! And I didn't realize how blessed I was until I grew up. I longed for the return of my childhood, of the feeling of performing in front of audiences, relishing in their applause. When I write, I feel the creative side of me take over, and I return to my days as a kid, totally elated and overwhelmingly happy to use my talents. And I find myself asking when did it stop? When did I quit using my talents to make me happy? And WHY would I ever do that?
The short answer is simply I don't know.
Somewhere along the way, my focus changed, not to something more important, just something else important. School, major, career, marriage. I remember being in college and going to plays or ballets or concerts and literally aching to join them on stage. I remember going to the Nutcracker with my mom every December and leaving the performance asking myself why I quit. If I missed it so much, why didn't I go back?
I figured my ship had long sailed (keep in mind that I'm about 18 at this point...I know, right?). I moved to FREEZING Idaho, and after a couple of years I decided to major in Math Education. I was always good in math, I liked teaching, so why not? I quickly learned that I never got the same thrill from teaching as I did from performing. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching! When I see one of my students grasp a concept, especially one he/she struggled with at first, I feel such a sense of excitement for that student! I love being an example to my kids (because that's what they are for the 9 months I see them - my kids)! But there was always something missing.
Well, I met my husband when I was 21, I graduated from BYU-I, and we got married a month later. We moved back to Bama for me to work as a math teacher and the hubs to work at a physical therapy clinic. One day shortly after moving back to Alabama, I was reading a book (I can't even remember the title), and something happened in the story that frustrated me. I put the book down and thought why can't someone write a book about...
Why can't someone write a book...
WHY CAN'T I WRITE A BOOK?????
The idea was so clear and so evident that I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before. I talked about it with my husband, but I didn't tell ANYONE. I brainstormed for weeks, but I never felt like I had that great of an idea. But man oh man, did I enjoy the process! I felt that creative side in me FINALLY emerge from so many years before. I felt I was doing something good for a change! I loved creating new stories, new people, new places. It was exhilarating! And lo and behold, Eric's sister (Kathryn) wanted to write too! I only shared with her my desire because she and I were book sisters. We liked the same kinds of books, so why wouldn't we write the same kinds of stories? So what did we do?
We wrote a book together.
We spent months planning and outlining and emailing and texting and calling. I learned so much from her and from the process. I'm forever indebted to her encouragement and inspiration! She instilled in me a belief that I can do this.
So I did. Again. I wrote one by myself.
As much fun and excitement as I had, I'm grateful that my second novel will never see the light of day. I think you should be grateful too.
In December of 2011, I had a dream, not of a plot for a book, but of a book cover. Weird, huh? It was all white and the title was STERILIZED. I woke up the next morning and immediately began taking notes, writing down everything that came to mind.
Then in May 2012, I found out we were moving. To Florida. Away from my beloved Alabama. I was SO EXCITED and SO SCARED at the same time. But looking back on it, it was the best thing for my writing. It was my escape from leaving my entire family, leaving a great job with awesome benefits, leaving everything I'd ever known to come to a place where I knew no one, it was rarely cold, and I'd be surrounded by Gator fans (for those that know of my deep-rooted love for Alabama, you can imagine how difficult this was - RTR). I finished STERILIZED, which is now titled THE ACQUISITION, and I did something I never thought I'd do.
I put it for sale.
Ho-lee-smokes. People are going to read this. People are going to judge this. What if they don't like it? What if they DO like it?
It's still unnerving to put your work out there, but like I learned as a kid, you can't hit homeruns if you don't swing the bat. Okay, I might have made that last line up on the spot, but the message is still true. Swing the bat! You may strike out or you may hit a homerun. I may not be a homerun hitter yet, but you better believe I'm at the cages almost every day training myself to be.
Watch out, World. I ain't done yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment