I woke up this morning feeling so...
Dejected.
I felt like a failure. I've been trying for THREE YEARS to achieve my dream of getting published, and I'm really not any closer than I was when I started.
Ever feel like that? Not specifically about failing to get an agent to help you impress editors and publishers and make a living doing something you love, but working SO HARD for YEARS and not really getting any closer? But as I was leaving for school this morning, I looked at my sweet husband and told him about my pain (I mean, it wasn't like it was the first time he'd heard it). And he took my hand and he promised me something. He promised me that I would make it. I would be okay.
And I totally believed him.
Because there have been MANY times that I haven't. He's supposed to say that, right? He's my husband. He's supposed to support and love me and make me feel all warm and tingly inside. This time, I knew it wasn't him just playing the role of husband, he was being my husband.
Does that make sense? Hmm...
See, he had to work for three years to get into PT school. Year after year he kept getting rejected, despite high recommendations, the scores to get in, and a great resume. I know many times he wanted to quit and he never did. We spent hundreds, thousands, of dollars on GRE testing, applications, POSTAGE, extra college classes he ended up not needing. You name it, we did it.
But then, one sunny day in May 2012, I was sitting at Dirk's Filet and Vine in Old Cloverdale, tutoring a sophomore in geometry, when he called. He got in. We were moving to Florida.
Holy.Freaking.Moly.
That's the scene that floated across my mind this morning. I don't know how many more rejections it's going to take, but I will make it. I WILL MAKE IT. It may not be with The Acquisition, but I will one day see my name in print.
At least, that's how I was feeling as I went to school this morning.
The feeling faded into oblivion as I engrossed myself in middle school math, smelly yet irresistable 7th grade boys that really want just want to be good, and last week's test that needed grading. Then, just a few minutes ago, I came across an author I hadn't heard of but will certainly be looking into now. Rachel Hawkins.
Her story was (or hopefully will be) my story. From Alabama. Former teacher who just wants to be a writer. I saw a tweet from her today that said she was in her hometown last week and saw something about The Peanut Festival. Naturally, this caught my eye. I clicked on her blog and read her "How I got published" story.
It was JUST what I needed to hear. I felt so inspired, I decided to blog about it. After the blog, I will get back to my writing.
I may or may not get published one day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But this I do know: Writing is what makes me happy. Escaping into my own world with characters who become more than friends is sometimes the greatest kind of vacation. Fortunately for me, my spring break is next week. Hello Lila and Russell Watson!
Yes, that is a little clue to my next manuscript.
So thank you ERIC MITCHELL and RACHEL HAWKINS. You turned a frustrating day into such a hopeful one!
I'm glad you've started a blog so you will never forget these hard times. You will make it - you WILL make it - All of your dreams will come true. Love you!!!
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