Our bumpy, chaotic road to parenthood

(Just a warning: This post will probably be lengthy. If you choose to read it, get comfortable.)

This will probably be the first and last time I delve into the details of our journey to parenthood, and that's only because infertility seems to be more and more common, and if I can remind someone who's going through/gone through what Eric and I have over the last three years that somehow you'll still make it out in one piece, well, then, I'll consider this post successful.

Our journey to parenthood officially started on August 9, 2010. That was the day Eric and I decided to take active steps to becoming pregnant. In my naive mind, once the decision was made, it was practically a done deal. In another month I'd be pregnant, then I could announce it to my parents, whose anniversary is August 9 (what a great gift, right?), and my new niece due in November would have a cousin close in age. All was perfect! 

Except it wasn't perfect. The next month came, not pregnant. The month after? Not even close. That disheartening pattern continued until January when I went in to see my doctor. 

FYI: I'm going to get kind of personal here about my infertility issues, so readers beware.

The reason I wasn't getting pregnant was incredibly obvious. I wasn't having a period. Simple fix. Doc gave me some progesterone to get that sucker started, so surely within a couple of weeks, conception would occur. Only it didn't. Not the first time, not the second time, not the fifth time, not anytime after. At this point I was growing more and more discouraged. It was getting close to 9 months since we decided to have kids. WHY WAS IT NOT WORKING????

Back to the doctor we go.

"Oh, you're just not ovulating! We can fix that! Clomid!"

Didn't work.

"Easy peasy. Double the Clomid!"

Still didn't work.

"Let's try Letrozole!"

Infertility: 413. Meds: 0.

"I think it's time you see a specialist."

Those words...Those words made me feel about two inches tall. So many questions ran through my mind: Why can't I get pregnant? Why is God making this so hard on me? Am I just not good enough for motherhood? What am I doing wrong? But the most tormenting question was one I was scared even to consider. 

If I'm supposed to have children, shouldn't it happen naturally? Am I fighting against fate by taking matters into my own hands?

Because let's just be honest here. Fertility treatments aren't cheap. They're not only expensive, but time-consuming, emotional, distressing, NOT FUN. Did I really want to go through all of that if it just wasn't meant to be? Or at least meant to be right now?

It took a lot of prayer to come to the conclusion that it was worth it, that I needed to do all I could to make children a reality in our lives, and once I did, God would handle the rest. And let me just say, marrying the right man to help me get through this made all the difference. At times I forgot he was going through it just like I was. I was so focused on me, me, why me, that sometimes I neglected to remember he was suffering emotionally like I was. But ever the patient, loving man that he is, he held my hand, stroked my hair, and reminded me of how loved and adored I was. I'll always love him dearly for that.

So off to the the fertility clinic we go. After a couple of exams and preliminary testing, a diagnosis was reached. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which apparently is quite common. We opted for daily injections to help me ovulate, and when the time was right, to inject a megashot to release the egg. And just to give it our best chance, we decided to do an insemination. Everything was going to plan, and everything was working out. The day of the insemination came, and the procedure went beautifully! Two weeks later, I get a call, on my planning period as a matter of fact, and learn it didn't work. Whatever sadness and worthlessness I felt before was minimal to the agonizing heartbreak I felt then. I couldn't even stay at school. I wanted to go home, curl up in a ball, and cry, cry, cry, which I eventually did. Having to tell Eric was the worst part. We mourned together, but in our attempts to remain optimistic and faithful, we made a decision to move on. It was the only thing TO do. 

Interestingly enough, three weeks later, we found out we were moving to Florida. God apparently knew something we didn't when he didn't allow us to be pregnant then.

Fast forward to March 2013. Our fertility journey was going on 2.5 years, and I was growing more and more anxious. After several long months and several back-and-forths with insurance, I was able to return to a fertility place just down the street from where we lived. On our first appointment, we told the doctor everything we knew and that we wanted to take our best shot at being pregnant. She asked me if I'd heard of the drug Metformin. I told her I had and I was anxious to try it. (It's a diabetic drug that's been shown to help people with PCOS). In addition to the Metformin, we'd triple the dosage of Clomid and cross our fingers. I was a bit skeptical of doing Clomid again since we had no luck with it before, but I trusted in the doctor and the success stories I'd heard about Metformin, and we went with it. 

FINALLY in July 2013, we were ready for insemination #2. Everything was perfect! But then, on August 9th, we learned the results. Negative. 

I didn't want to do this again. At least, not anytime soon. It was just. Too. Hard. And emotional. Plus, school was starting and the pain of not being pregnant was just not something I wanted to deal with. 

But then something happened. Something that hasn't happened in YEARS. Later that day, August 9th, my period started. What the what??? That hasn't happened without being medically induced since long before I was married. At first I thought it was a sick joke the universe played on me. Not only are you NOT pregnant, but now you must suffer with bleeding and cramps and moodiness and discomfort! Muahahaha! I could hear it mocking me. But later that night, as Eric and I discussed the events of the day, he helped me realize that maybe the universe wasn't intensifying my pain. Maybe it was helping me understand that now was NOT the time to give up, but to press on in faith. I mean, how could I waste a perfectly good period by not doing everything I could to make children a reality in our lives? Again, the thoughts echoed in my head: Do all you can do, and God will take care of the rest.

So I called the doctor. A baseline sonogram was taken and everything was healthy. The medicine I ingested. The day of insemination #3 came. It was a sunny Sunday morning, August 25th, 9:15 AM, when my appointment was scheduled. With mixed emotions, a strange blend of hope and fear, we walked into the clinic with heads held high. The procedure was completed, quite painfully actually, and now the wait game began. I was fortunate enough to be thrust into a chaotic school year that helped ease my mind of the worries of possible pregnancy. Two weeks later, on Sunday, September 8th, I decided to take a test.

I never thought two pink lines could be so magnificently beautiful.

It was simply the most surreal moment of our lives. What we've wanted for so long was finally here. Could this really be true? Is the test accurate? It was. The blood test confirmed it. I was pregnant. Finally.

Today it's so easy to say the fertility journey was worth it, but I won't lie and tell you it was a walk in the park. It was a hard, painful road that eventually led to our happy ending, but I realize not everyone reaches the same ending. If I could go back to the beginning of my journey and tell myself a few things, it'd be this:

1. You are not worthless. You're inability to get pregnant is not due to not being good enough.

2. People are going to tell you that it'll happen when it's supposed to happen, and that God has a plan. While you may know in your heart this is true, you're not going to want to hear this. In your mind, it still registers that God isn't blessing you with a child because you're not worthy of one. In the words of Professor Umbridge, THIS IS A LIE.

3. Spend as much time getting to know and date your husband. The stronger the bond, the easier the journey.

4. Continue writing. To produce a work of art after months of labor is such a great reward. While it doesn't compare to making a baby, it is still joyous and wonderful, and you will find great happiness in doing what you love. 

How grateful I am that Eric and I pressed on midst the pain we felt year after year. It took us three years to hear Baby Mitchell's heartbeat, and it was the most glorious sound in the world. My heart is heavy with the thought of how many people go through what we went through and not have the same outcome. I hope you find happiness somewhere in life. 

And I hope you never give up, no matter how badly you want to. No matter the outcome of the journey, you will be better in the end. Somehow. 

Not-so-common things to be grateful for

Thanksgiving week. The time people publicly announce for what they're thankful. I've never participated in the Facebook frenzy of posting something to be grateful for every day in November, but I see a common trend: family, faith, children, talents, health, etc. It is true that these are the things to be most grateful for, and I for one am not an exception. My religion, my husband, and my family certainly round out the top three. But when I was a teenager, my mom had us do an activity where we had to list out 100 specific things/people/places/talents we're thankful to have, and it opened my eyes to how many life luxuries I'm surrounded with. I've done this exercise a few times since, and I thought I'd share ten of my not-so-common things to be grateful for.

1. CHAPSTICK - Seriously, words can't adequately convey how overwhelmingly grateful I am for this in my life. Some say using Chapstick is an addiction. Eh...maybe. But for someone with dry skin (and obviously dry lips), I'd be lost without it, especially after facing tropical-storm-like winds in Rexburg on an almost daily basis. At any given point I have access to at least three tubes of the stuff, and heaven forbid I leave it at home. Should that tragedy befall me, a stop at the nearest drug store will become a priority.

2. NETFLIX - More specifically, Psych. Remember the days when you had to go to Blockbuster/Hollywood Video/Movie Gallery, cross your fingers they had the VHS you wanted, and then rent it for 1, 2, or 5 days? Plus a damage fee? And then when DVDs came out, you were faced with an even greater dilemma. Is it worth the extra money to walk out with a disc instead of a VHS when it's still the same move? How lucky I am to press a few buttons and be presented with a myriad of choices! And Psych. Ah, Shawn and Gus. It's my go-to when I'm in need of a laugh. It doesn't matter if I've seen the episode or not. Shawn and Guster are always there for me.

3. LOTION - This item piggybacks Chapstick. There isn't much other explanation needed. Anyone with skin as ashy as mine can be understand.

4. HAIRDRYER - I am fortunate enough to have hair that can be dried in three minutes (yes, I've timed it) and it's ready to go. No need to straighten, though of course it doesn't hurt. Within minutes of getting out of the shower, I can be ready to go. This allows for extra sleep, a longer breakfast, or whatever else I feel like doing. It's magical, really.

5. GOOGLE - I'm only 26, but I still remember having to go to the library or a set of encyclopedias if I had question about something. You want to know the altitude of your state? You want to know the zip code of your great aunt? You want to win a bet about what else an actor or actress was in (thank you IMDB)? History, sports, music, math, science - Anything you can think of is just a search button away. Sure, not everything on the internet is legit, but there are still smart ways to search for whatever you're looking for. Having that much information at your fingertips is powerful, and while I enjoy the funny cat video as much as the next person, I still remember that because of modern technology, I hold the world in my pocket.

6. TENNIS SHOES - The hardest part of working out for me isn't the actual working out. It's actually lacing up my kicks, but once I do, I feel empowered. There's just something about putting on tennis shoes. Maybe it's because I only wear mine when I'm about to do something physically demanding, so my brain goes all Pavlov's dogs and thinks it's time to go sweat. Most of the time, that's the case. Also, my tennis shoes are incredibly comfortable, and who isn't grateful for comfort?

7. WORD - As an aspiring writer, this one should be obvious. I can type oodles faster than I can write, and can you even imagine a world without copy and paste? I'm sure I use that more in a day than I realize. 

8. PANDORA - I love that at any moment I can tune in to some genre of music or make a playlist that combines multiple genres of music. I love the variety, I love the diversity (and if you saw my Pandora lists, you'd find great diversity). Though the commercials grow tiresome, it's a small price to pay to have an instant music selection at my fingertips.

9. WII MARIO GAMES - The hubs and I have spent countless hours playing games together, and the common theme is Mario. Mario Kart, Super Mario Brothers (new and original), Mario 3D, and many more. I love playing with (and against) him. I attribute my love of Mario to my mom, who used to put playing Mario on our chore lists when we were kids, and my brothers, who always made me be Luigi but I was just happy to be playing with them. Years of happiness and excitement and family togetherness that is continuing on.

10. FACETIME/SKYPE - I can see my family at anytime, particularly my three little nieces. What else is there to say?

So, that's my list. There's plenty more luxuries I'm blessed to have in my life, and I have a feeling if I really look, I'll find even more. Simply put, life is good.

Don't pay the ransom!

I swear I just blogged yesterday, but according to the website, it's been close to six weeks. My bad. Quite a bit has happened these past few weeks.

Another trip home to Bama.

Annual family vacation to Pigeon Forge, TN (DOLLYWOOD!).

Move to a new apartment (one of the best decisions Eric and I have ever made).

New job for Eric.

FINISHED MY LATEST MANUSCRIPT!

And that, my friends, certainly warrants the need for all caps. Finishing my latest project has actually been one of the biggest milestones of my adult life. I can't wait to tell y'all more about it, but the time isn't right yet. I can say it isn't a sequel TA, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm not working on one. No news yet on a potential release date.

No news yet on a completion date either.

This is also my last week of freedom before I go back to school (as a teacher, not a student, though I did love being a student). I started it off with a-whole-lotta Pinterest. Just thought I'd briefly share the results:

Crock Pot Fiesta Chicken - This was so simple, as most crock pot recipes tend to be. It was a keeper for sure. I should mention that I used brown rice instead of white. In the future, I might substitute black beans for pinto beans (personal preference) or a combination of both. The corn made it for me. It added the perfect crunch. I also used chicken tenderloins instead of chicken breasts. I would also add something to give it a kick. Maybe using hot salsa would do the trick. Not sure. But even though we liked it as is, we thought it might be better with a little extra umph.

Strawberry Cream Cheese Bread - DELICIOUS! I made it exactly as is, and I don't think I'd change anything other than letting it have time to cool before I jump in. Well, now that I think about it, I might use refrigerated strawberries in the light syrup just to give it a bit more berry flavor, and this would also be a good idea for when strawberries aren't in season. I also might sprinkle sugar on the top before I bake it. I just like a little crunch to it. So maybe I would change something, but the bread is still good just the way the recipe is.

Amish Cinnamon Bread - This bread was worth making just for the smell that radiates from the oven as it bakes. MOUTH-WATERING! The combination of sugar and cinnamon has always been a weakness of mine, something I rightly blame on my cinnamon toast diet as a child. This recipe was very easy. One change I made was to add a cap full of vanilla BECAUSE WHY WOULDN'T I? I can't help taking a whiff of that stuff whenever I open the bottle. In the future, and there will be a future for this bread in the Mitchell household, I will add two cap fulls of vanilla. I didn't taste enough of the flavor this time around. 

So. That's that. If anyone else has any Pinterest recipes successes (or failures), please feel free to pass them along!

Living at its finest

The following event occurred a little over a week ago, and I've pondered on this incident every day since. Actually, the entire concept is something I've pondered on awhile, but after my little trip to Holly's gas station in Not-Even-On-The-Map, Alabama, I've wanted to share it with all three of my non-family readers.

My family went to one of my dad's client's land to pick blackberries Saturday morning. Near the end of our little adventure, I volunteered to drive up to the local gas station to buy us some cold drinks. (Ok, I'll be honest, my bladder had other intentions of my side trip.) My entire experience, which lasted maybe five minutes, will stay with me for a long time. 

I parked the car near the front door. As I approached, an older man was exiting, and, like a true gentleman, stood a moment longer to hold the door for me. I thanked him enthusiastically (I always make a point to put a little spirit in my voice when I do in hopes the person providing the service really knows I appreciate it). He simply replied, "Yes ma'am," and tipped his head in my direction. He went his way, I went my way. After providing my bladder with much-needed relief, I perused the wall of refrigerated drinks to find exactly what each member of my family wanted. While looking through one particular door, another man stepped beside me and joined in. He asked, "Do you mind if I get one?" I answered, "Of course not! Go ahead!" Again, with enthusiasm. I appreciated him asking before he stepped right in front of me, blocking my view. It was a very simple gesture, but it reflected his good manners, and I certainly noticed. After he left, I grabbed all the drinks we needed and walked to the counter. Here, I was met with more kindness. The cashier said to me as I placed everything on the counter, "You did some things right and some things wrong." I asked what he meant, thinking he was referring to my Bama shirt and Georgia hat (thanks Eric), but he said he'd tell me in a minute. I should mention that before that, he wished me a good morning through a wide smile. He rang up four of the six drinks, leaving the blue Powerade and purple Gatorade last. 

On a side note, does anyone ever identify Powerades or Gatorades by their actual flavor? I thought not.

He told me that I was right in getting the Powerade because they were on sale, but I was wrong because the Gatorade was not. I informed him that my husband preferred Gatorade, and my brother preferred Powerade. He asked if I was sure, and I replied yes. It was simple, but I greatly appreciated his attempt to save me 50 cents instead of just ringing it up. By the time I walked out of the door of Holly's, I felt profoundly different. Inside that station, there were people of different races, different socioeconomic status, and different ages. But one thing was common among all of us - We knew how to respect each other. We were polite to each other. We all seemed to understand that we were human beings with our own stories, our own backgrounds, and maybe that day could be a little easier if we just showed a little bit of kindness. Every act was simple, nothing that drew attention to the respective individuals, and certainly nothing I'm sure they thought would have such an effect on me. But it did. 

I know I'm not perfect, but I always, always, always try to be kind and respectful of everyone I meet. I smile at strangers, I hold doors open for others, I say thank you and please, I say ma'am and sir no matter their age. Sure, it means that I will probably get taken advantage of. I know how true the saying "nice guys finish last" really is, but I wouldn't want to be any other way. 

I vowed to myself when I left Holly's that I would try harder to be that source of inspiration someone else might need on another day in another situation. 

As I left Holly's, I thought that this was living at its finest. Not with money or fancy cars or having the latest tech gadgets. It's just one person being nice to another person. 

Four

No, this isn't some post about the dreamy love interest in Divergent. Though, the book has been on my mind a lot, even though I read it over a year ago, so I might write something about it later. 

I titled this "Four" because that's how many years I've been married as of today.

Four years??? Sheesh. Wasn't I just going on my first date yesterday?

I know four years isn't really long (except by Hollywood standards), but at the same time, my mind is having a hard time wrapping around the fact that Eric and I promised to spend eternity with each other 1461 days ago. It's just that I remember that day so vividly that it could have been just last week! And yet, it's hard to remember a time in my life that Eric wasn't there. It seems we've always had each other.

Anyway, I decided to recap the last four years of bliss - where we started, what we've been doing, and where we are now.

YEAR 1

Eric and I got hitched May 22, 2009, the same year we both graduated college from Brigham Young University - Idaho. I used to have people ask me why I didn't go to BYU in Utah since I was accepted there as well. The answer may seem weak to you, and maybe it even did to me at the time, but it's very simple: I felt that I should. Lo and behold, in my senior year, who comes bouncing into my life? Several awesome roommates I still love to this day! And, of course, my sweet, sweet Eric. After marrying, we moved to Ringgold, Georgia, for a couple of months until we found employment, which took us back to my hometown in Montgomery, Alabama. 

YEAR 2

Eric has opened so many new doors for me since we got married. I've tried so many new things I never thought I'd do because of him! Like, say, running a half marathon. I know, right? A NeSmith, running an actual race? Don't hide in your bomb shelters. The end of the world isn't nigh quite yet. Technically, the half happened right at the end of year 1 (Mar 2010), but I'll loop it into year 2. I also finished writing my first novel with Eric's sister and another by myself several months later. HUGE milestone for me! I've since completed The Acquisition, currently on sale, which would make an excellent read for anyone wanting to celebrate mine and Eric's anniversary. This year also brought some disappointment. Eric wasn't accepted into PT school, for reasons we could never figure out, and we found out having children wasn't going to come easily for us (but that's another long, long, personal story). Since PT school never worked out, we stayed in Montgomery.

YEAR 3

Nothing too monumental happened during our third year (until the end). I continued working as a math teacher at one of the magnet middle schools in town. Eric continued working at a PT clinic. We still weren't blessed with any children. In fact, that whole process was very time-demanding and, oh, the emotions involved! I pray no one ever has to go through infertility treatments. Thinking our life was meant to be in Montgomery, we started looking to buy a house. Eric was promoted at work and was making more money, I still had a solid job with great benefits, so we felt comfortable settling down. We even found a really cute 3 bed/2 bath home that had me drooling! Days away from deciding to go for it, a major light appeared at the end of the tunnel. Days before our third anniversary, we learned that Eric's dream was finally going to come true! He was accepted into PT school, and we were moving to Florida.

YEAR 4

Florida is hot, humid, and wet. And lots and lots of bugs. A plethora of lizards. And home to the biggest dragonflies I've ever seen. Yet, the beach is 30-45 minutes from our home, I've met some wonderful people, and I've found even more time to write! This move has been very emotional and hard and wonderful and every other emotion you can think of, but it's all been worth it. We even survived a Georgia/Alabama football game, which, let me tell you, was NOT fun! Recently, Eric just completed his first year as a PT student (which means I only have to work for 3 more!), we have wonderful doctors who are helping us become parents, and most importantly, moving away from our families to such a foreign place has brought us so much closer. I love this man dearly, and I can't wait to see what year 5 (and forever) has in store for us!

Ok, I just threw this one in because it makes me laugh every time I see it. 

Throwback Thursday

I've been thinking a lot about my childhood lately. Maybe it's the homesickness, the longing to be surrounded by people and places I love, or maybe it's the fact that I can now say I have clear memories from twenty years ago.

TWENTY YEARS AGO.

Only adults can say that. But wait! I am an adult. And sometimes, I wonder how that happened. I swear it was just yesterday that I was getting my license and taking to the road all by myself. And by yesterday, I guess I mean ten years ago. I mean, I know twenty-six isn't old by any stretch of the imagination. I certainly don't feel old. In fact, I still feel like a twitterpated seventeen-year-old. 

Thus, I decided to dedicate Thursday as my Throwback day. Remember the good times. To kickstart this endeavor, I present to you one of my all-time favorite shows as a kid. Ladies and gentlemen, Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Remember this show? I adored it. But I there was some serious anger coursing through me when the final map wasn't the United States. How the heck was an eight-year-old girl supposed to know the countries in the Middle East? Even still, this was a personal favorite. 

What TV shows do you remember from your childhood?

'Til we meet again

Today marks three years since Papaw passed away, and yet I still walk into Pamaw's house expecting to hear, "Oh, you beautiful doll! You great, big, beautiful doll!"

That was the song he'd sing every time I walked in. (Sorry, Laura. I guess we were both his dolls.) The Sunday before he passed, he got up, dressed, went to church, just like he did every Sunday. At that point in time, he'd been battling cancer for four months. We knew it was bad, we knew it was a matter of time, but the man could still get around. Er...somewhat. He wasn't homebound just yet. But later that week, he slipped into a peaceful coma and passed away late at night the following Sunday. And actually, his nurse didn't get there until just after midnight, so his official death date was Monday, April 26th. Oh, how he liked to make it tricky!

So, here's to you, Papaw! It's the greatest blessing in the world to know we will all be together again one day!

For those that want to hear the song, click here. Truth be told, I'd never heard the song until I looked it up.

Cheaper by the Dozen

Yesterday morning, I awoke early (not uncommon) and watched the movie Cheaper By The Dozen while I got ready for my busy day. It was on TV, I hadn't seen it in awhile, and since I was having some serious Smallville withdrawals, I figured I could curb them by watching Tom Welling as the oldest son in the Baker family. While I did have some major flashbacks to season four of Smallville while watching Welling play football, I had other thoughts while watching the movie, thoughts that almost had me in tears. 

First, if you aren't familiar with the movie CBTD, let me sum it up for you. Steve Martin, Baker dad, gets a new football coaching job that moves his family to a new, suburban place where they just don't fit in. Meanwhile, Bonnie Hunt, Baker mom, publishes a book and goes on tour to promote it, leaving her eleven children at home under the care of their father, who is unfortunately absent most of the time because of his new job. The oldest of the total twelve children lives with her boyfriend and comes to help out (I really don't care for this part of the story). The movie ends with Mom returning, the family coming together to overcome a crisis, and all ends happy.

Yes, the movie has some cheesy parts (it's a kid movie, after all). Yes, the movie is unbelievable in many scenes. But I was entertained throughout. I laughed. I smiled. I enjoyed myself. 

But there's this one scene when Mom realizes she needed to get home to her family, and suddenly the whole point of the movie became clear to me. 

Family is everything.

Dad did everything he could do to provide for his family and be there for his kids when they needed him. While he did the best he could, he needed a partner. He couldn't do it alone. When Mom left, even though it was only for two weeks, the house kind of fell apart. I remember the rare times that my mom was unavailable for some reason or another, and Dad was on dinner duty. Usually this resulted in a quick drive to the nearest KFC or a brief call to Domino's. Our shoes were probably left in the living room, we probably left the TV on too long, but we didn't have anyone to cry to when our day at school was bad, and I certainly didn't have anyone to talk to about the cute boy I was crushing on at the time. Bottom line, we still needed Mom.

Mom was our rock. When she was happy, the house was happy. If she was mad, the house was mad. Funny how one person can be so dynamic. On the more common occasions that Dad was unavailable, Mom would step in to fill his shoes as best she could. We'd still eat  homemade dinners, the house would be a little cleaner, but we wouldn't have a pitcher to hit some softballs with, and we certainly didn't someone to talk about all things Harry Potter. Bottom line, we still needed Dad.

The movie just helped me realize how valuable my mom and my dad are individually. I wish all kids could grow up with parents as talented, well-rounded, funny, and strong as I did, but in today's world, where family is slowly deteriorating, that's not as common as I wish it could be. In fact, I think many problems involving public education could be solved if students could have more support at home (but that's another post for another day). That's why I resolve right now to be the best mom my kids have ever seen. True, I don't have kids yet, but one day I will. And I'll make them put their shoes away, turn the TV off when it's been on too long, make them dinner every night most nights (let's just be honest here - sometimes dinner is just a phone call away), and make sure to kiss their father when I know they're watching. Eric will be there to toss the Frisbee with them (and I'll be there for when he accidentally hits them in the forehead, which will inevitably happen I'm sure), tickle them until happy tears run down their cheeks, talk Avatar: The Last Airbender with them (actually, I'll do that too), and be there for them on the rare occasion I can't be. 

Because that's what parents do, right?

August 1978

January 2013 - Only missing Eric :(

No, no, it's me, not Jack Sparrow.

All I've wanted for three years now is a new strand of pearls. Real pearls. Something to make me feel elegant. 

Not like the strand I bought at Walmart when I was 19 (that I still have). But hey, who knew that $5 investment would last over 7 years? I certainly didn't.  But you know what my sweet husband bought me for Christmas? Yup. You guessed it.

Pens. Multi-colored clicky pens. 

And a sparkling, shiny perfectly polished strand of pearls. Every southern girl's dream! Oh, I looked elegant. I sparkled! I radiated! 'Bless your heart' and 'puttin' on the dog' became much more common phrases around our home. But like all good things, it had to end. I did the unthinkable.

I lost them. 

I still don't like to think of it. I'm still fuming. I only enjoyed those beauties for a month! And I still don't know what happened to them.

Weeks passed. Before I knew it, my birthday warranted another gift-giving extravaganza. After school that day, Eric presented me with another long, narrow white box. I giggled in response. I knew immediately I'd gotten my pearls back!

And I did. BUT. They weren't the right color or size strand. Unbeknownst to me, Eric took them back to surprise me with the kind I really wanted. Just two days ago, he presented me with another white box yet again. When he pulled them out, I gasped in amazement.

THEY. WERE. PERFECT.

I could FINALLY retire my Walmart pearls. Those suckers actually broke years ago, but I jimmy-rigged them to stay hooked. I waited until today to wear the new strand because I had the perfect outfit to wear with them. 

Ladies, you know what I mean. 

I only had them around my neck for 10 seconds when they fell off. Silly me. I must not have clasped it all the way! I put them on again. They fell off again. I put them on...they fell off...

NOOOO!!!!!!!

Not again! Thus, we must venture back to the store to return my pearls. I'm fairly certain the curse of the pearl belongs to me, not Jack Sparrow.

::Sigh:: Until then, I have my good ol' trusty Walmart strands to tide me over. 

Get it for FREE!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is my pleasure to announce that starting tomorrow, April 5th, you can download The Acquisition on your Kindle for FREE!

No, you read it right. For Free!

But this promotion only lasts until Saturday, so that only leaves TWO DAYS to take advantage of this deal.

The reason for this deal is because I've made some pretty major edits to it, and I'd love for those that already purchased the book to read the changes without having to purchase it all over again. Thus, if you haven't bought the book already, you should take advantage!

Happy reading!

P.S. Feel free to leave an awesome (honest) review on Amazon if you'd like. Or follow me on Twitter. Or Like my author page. I'm easy to please.

Let's talk about the elephant in the room.

Truth be told, I don't have anything too profound to blog about about, except that I'm totally stoked about my new book. I've waited over a year for this one! Great series. I prefer this to the original, but that's just my opinion. 

Anyway, I just wanted to show off my new friend. The best part of this picture is that he's smiling too. Sort of. 

I bet he likes my shirt.

Also, a big announcement will be made about The Acquisition sometime this week!

Book recommendation: THE SELECTION

Time for another stellar book recommendation. I was reluctant to pick this title up when I first heard about it (which was only about a month ago - thanks Cindy Hale for asking me if I'd heard of it!), and for good reason. At least, it was a good reason in my opinion. 

See, a couple of years ago, I started a manuscript titled THE NEXT PRINCESS. I was in such a fairy tale mood at the time that I decided to write my own version of a fairy tale. I created my own country/world that was led by a king and queen, and tradition stated that when their prince came of age, he should take a bride from among the people. In a Bachelor-esque style, lucky girls were picked, seemingly at random (but not really), to participate in this competition. My main character, Caroline, was the poor daughter of a farmer who lived Outside the Wall. Prince James, the royal family, and all prominent members of society lived Inside the Wall. 

Anyway, Caroline and Prince James were playmates as little children. Caroline's father was one of the farmers who delivered produce to the palace, and she'd tag along when her father made deliveries. As time passed and she and the prince grew older, they drifted apart for political reasons (none of which were initiated by James). 

Long story short, they were reunited at the competition, sparks flew, drama flared (what do you expect would happen when you round up a bunch of girls in one place), and of course all ended happy.

That was my story.

So when I read about THE SELECTION, I was SO BUMMED. See for yourself:

 For thirty-five girls, the Selection is the chance of a lifetime. The opportunity to escape the life laid out for them since birth. To be swept up in a world of glittering gowns and priceless jewels. To live in the palace and compete for the heart of the gorgeous Prince Maxon.

But for America Singer, being Selected is a nightmare. It means turning her back on her secret love with Aspen, who is a caste below her. Leaving her home to enter a fierce competition for a crown she doesn't want. Living in a palace that is constantly threatened by violent rebel attacks.

Then America meets Prince Maxon. Gradually, she starts to question all the plans she's made for herself- and realizes that the life she's always dreamed of may not compare to a future she never imagined.

This dystopian version of the US is known as Illea, and when the prince comes of age, the Selection is instituted to pull together 35 girls to compete for the Prince Maxon's hand.

Hey, at least mine wasn't a dystopian...

But seriously...how HAPPY I am that I picked this up! It was fast-paced, the boys were totally dreamy, the antics of girls crazed at obtaining the crowd made me laugh out loud. I found myself waiting to get home from school so I could find out what came next. I haven't read a book like that in a long time. 

So, even though THE NEXT PRINCESS will never see the light of day, I'm extremely happy THE SELECTION did. The next book in the series, THE ELITE, will be out in April, and I also heard that the CW has a pilot episode based on this series. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it makes it to TV. 

To learn more about the series and its author, click here.

Birthdays

In order to raise birthday awareness (mine of course), I'm going to briefly mention one of the BEST birthdays ever. 

I said briefly.

*I was living in Las Vegas doing my student teaching. I only knew one person in the giant city.

Brooke, you totally saved me that semester. I am still indebted to you!

*I was SICK AS A DOG. One of the worst illnesses I'd ever had. And it lasted well over a month.

*Planning a wedding 2000 miles from home and 800 miles from my main squeeze was so emotionally taxing.

*My birthday rolls around, and Mom says she timed her gift to arrive exactly on my birthday. That was the only silver lining of the day.

*I checked the mail. Mom screwed up. No package. Tears ensued.

*I was lonely, poor, and so sick. Now present-less.

*Brooke and her husband took me to dinner on the strip in Vegas. Turns out, that's where my present showed up. Click here to see it all unfold!

Moms and husbands give the best presents! Love you both!

New Manuscript

I can't give away too many details, but here are just a few insights into my next project.

Lila Watson is the most talented Advanced Mind there is, but no one can ever know.

Russell Watson is also an Advanced Mind, but he has nothing on his sister.

When their parents are kidnapped, they have seven days to find them.

Can their Advanced Minds solve this mystery before their week-long deadline without Lila's talents being discovered?

More to come!

Frustration < Hope

I woke up this morning feeling so...

Dejected.

I felt like a failure. I've been trying for THREE YEARS to achieve my dream of getting published, and I'm really not any closer than I was when I started.

Ever feel like that? Not specifically about failing to get an agent to help you impress editors and publishers and make a living doing something you love, but working SO HARD for YEARS and not really getting any closer? But as I was leaving for school this morning, I looked at my sweet husband and told him about my pain (I mean, it wasn't like it was the first time he'd heard it). And he took my hand and he promised me something. He promised me that I would make it. I would be okay.

And I totally believed him.

Because there have been MANY times that I haven't. He's supposed to say that, right? He's my husband. He's supposed to support and love me and make me feel all warm and tingly inside. This time, I knew it wasn't him just playing the role of husband, he was being my husband.

Does that make sense? Hmm...

See, he had to work for three years to get into PT school. Year after year he kept getting rejected, despite high recommendations, the scores to get in, and a great resume. I know many times he wanted to quit and he never did. We spent hundreds, thousands, of dollars on GRE testing, applications, POSTAGE, extra college classes he ended up not needing. You name it, we did it.

But then, one sunny day in May 2012, I was sitting at Dirk's Filet and Vine in Old Cloverdale, tutoring a sophomore in geometry, when he called. He got in. We were moving to Florida.

Holy.Freaking.Moly.

That's the scene that floated across my mind this morning. I don't know how many more rejections it's going to take, but I will make it. I WILL MAKE IT. It may not be with The Acquisition, but I will one day see my name in print.

At least, that's how I was feeling as I went to school this morning.

The feeling faded into oblivion as I engrossed myself in middle school math, smelly yet irresistable 7th grade boys that really want just want to be good, and last week's test that needed grading. Then, just a few minutes ago, I came across an author I hadn't heard of but will certainly be looking into now. Rachel Hawkins.

Her story was (or hopefully will be) my story. From Alabama. Former teacher who just wants to be a writer. I saw a tweet from her today that said she was in her hometown last week and saw something about The Peanut Festival. Naturally, this caught my eye. I clicked on her blog and read her "How I got published" story.

It was JUST what I needed to hear. I felt so inspired, I decided to blog about it. After the blog, I will get back to my writing.

I may or may not get published one day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But this I do know: Writing is what makes me happy. Escaping into my own world with characters who become more than friends is sometimes the greatest kind of vacation. Fortunately for me, my spring break is next week. Hello Lila and Russell Watson!

Yes, that is a little clue to my next manuscript.

So thank you ERIC MITCHELL and RACHEL HAWKINS.  You turned a frustrating day into such a hopeful one! 

My Poor Mother

Every year on February 27th, my thoughts tend to linger on one person. My mom, whom I affectionately refer to as Moth-er. After all, that's how it's spelled.

No, today isn't her birthday, anniversary, or even my birthday. It's because today is the day I was supposed to grace this earth with my presence twenty-six years ago. Apparently I was having just a peachy time inside my mama's pregnant belly because I didn't make my grand entrance until March 20th!

But the really scary part is that Scott was even later than I was.

So here's to tough mothers who protect their babies from the world as long as possible! Thanks to you, I'm a spring baby!

Love you, Mama! Er...Moth-er!

To buy The Acquisition click here.

Tigers and tigers and tigers! Oh my!

When I decided to start a blog, my original intent was to promote my own writing and the writing of authors I've grown to love. While I've obviously promoted my own, I have yet to promote another author. I kept thinking, "One day I'll get around to it, but it is not this day."

(Just a little Aragorn reference.)

Well, folks, today it IS that day. 

It is my pleasure to introduce to you the author of the Tiger Curse series Mrs. Colleen Houck!

This is the first book in a series of four (so far - a fifth is planned, but it hasn't sold yet). Here's what you need to know:

Synopsis

Passion. Fate. Loyalty.

Would you risk it all to change your destiny?

The last thing Kelsey Hayes thought she’d be doing this summer was trying to break a 300-year-old Indian curse. With a mysterious white tiger named Ren. Halfway around the world. But that’s exactly what happened. Face-to-face with dark forces, spellbinding magic, and  mystical worlds where nothing is what it seems, Kelsey risks everything to piece together an ancient prophecy that could break the curse forever.

Tiger’s Curse is the exciting first volume in an epic fantasy-romance that will leave you breathless and yearning for more.
 

 "I was wrapped up in the sweet romance and heart-pounding adventure of TIGER'S CURSE.  I found myself cheering, squealing and biting my nails--all within a few pages.  In short, it was magical!"  -Becca Fitzpatrick, New York Times best-selling author of HUSH, HUSH



How I discovered this series and why I recommend it:

Almost two years ago, I was casually perusing the YA section at the public library, and the cover of this gem caught my eye. When I read the cover page information, I was actually turned off. Indian curses and tigers weren't my thing. I put it back and moved on. Again and again, I visited the library that summer (I'm a teacher, so I had plenty of time to indulge myself in literary fiction), and I kept seeing this beautiful white tiger staring at me. On one certain occasion, nothing seemed to stand out, so I decided to give this one a shot.

I AM SO HAPPY I DID!

I was almost immediately enthralled in Kelsey's story, and I couldn't put it down. The details Houck infused in the story are so descriptive, so enchanting, that it was so easy, so wonderful to fall into her magical world. And the boys? Oh, the boys! Ren is...well...He's not my sweet Eric, of course, but he sure is something. And for those that trust me on this and continue with the series (TIGER'S CURSE, TIGER'S QUEST, TIGER'S VOYAGE, TIGER'S DESTINY, and hopefully TIGER'S DREAM), you will fall in love with Kishan as well.

The story, the curse, the magic - It will leave you wanting more!

Colleen Houck and I at a book signing in Atlanta

 This tour was for TIGER'S VOYAGE, the third in the series.


To purchase my novel, THE ACQUISITION, click here.

Celebrities and Walmart

I keep seeing NutriSystem commercials with Marie Osmond bragging about fitting into a costume she wore when she was 18. Everytime the commercial shows her prancing around in said costume, I think, "She really is much smaller when you see her in person."

No, I haven't paid hundreds of dollars to fly to Vegas and see her show. No, I don't have connections to her home teacher in Utah. My story is even better.

I went to Walmart.

In 2009 I did my student teaching in Henderson, NV, a community just outside of Vegas. The apartments they put us in didn't have televisions. I inherited a love of legal shows, comedies, and HGTV from my Dad (okay, maybe the HGTV was all me), so the thought of spending 3 months without it didn't sound pleasant. So, making my father proud, I wanted to buy a TV. I could've gone to Goodwill and get an old, boxy set, and I actually did venture out to thrift stores. Most of them were older than me, and I was living in Vegas! Everything was supposed to be glitzy, flashy, and glamorous, right? I wanted a flat screen.

Walking through the doors of Walmart, I called my dad to strike a bargain. I just knew he'd understand my dilemma. I had enough to split the cost of the flat screen. I wondered if I could sweet talk him into putting up the other half. I wasn't doing the best job of convincing him, sadly, but then she walked by. Flitted by. The air sparkled. Right by a bin of bath towels.

Marie Osmond.

"Dad, I think Marie Osmond just walked by."

Laughter. "No, she didn't, Emily."

"Um, Dad, I'm pretty sure she did."

"No, no, you must be mistaken."

"I'm not! Let me go find out. I'll call you back."

What you must understand is that my dad was head over heels for the singer of Paper Roses. He would be over the moon if this was really her! But, seriously, what was she doing in Walmart?

The TV gods must have been smiling upon me, because I followed Marie or this Marie lookalike to the electronics department. She was alone, dressed in nice clothes, tall heels, and BIG curly hair. Not to mention loads of make-up. Once I confirmed it was her, I called my dad back.

"DAD! IT'S REALLY HER!"

"Okay, if you go talk to her, I'll help with the TV."

"Dad, I can't just go up to her and talk to her. She'd probably hate that." Wouldn't she?

"That's the deal."

Grr.

So, I did. And she was SO NICE! She was happy to take a picture with me! We chatted for a few minutes. I told her I was a student from BYU-Idaho down here student teaching. She told me she was buying videos and games for FHE. (And she did have a large stack of DVDs and video games in her hands. And it was a Monday.) It was such a surreal experience to meet a celebrity in Walmart, but the best part of the story? I got my TV, the same flat screen I'm watching her commercials on today.

My Own Love Story

I've read some other posts about how two lovebirds met, so I thought I'd join in. It's not as exciting as some stories might be, but it's obviously one of my favorites.

It was Monday, April 28, 2008, and I had just returned to a still-too-cold-for-flip-flops Rexburg, Idaho. It was the first Monday of the first week of the summer semester, and you know what that means. Ward Family Home Evening Get-To-Know-You Social!

*Cue confetti, streamers, and balloon release.*

All kidding aside, I always did look forward to the beginning of a new semester, if for no other petty reason than to scope out the new guys coming through.

On my life I swear I did not go to BYU-Idaho to find a mister (but that's another story for another blog post)!

But, should the opportunity present itself, I wasn't going to turn it down. Well, April 28th rolls around. For reasons I can't remember, I was running late, and I was still dressed in work clothes (i.e. skirt and nice blouse). The activity was in the Kirkham Building in one of the dance rooms. As you arrived, you were sorted into groups to play a round robin style game tournament. I can't remember what group I was sorted into, I can't remember the games played, but I remember the boy in the baby blue shirt.

  

Oh. Baby.

But before I go into too much detail, I must tell you that I already knew who he was, and I definitely had my eye on him. A couple of days prior to this social event of the semester, I received an email from my bishop (ecclesiastical leader) that contained the newest ward roster. Of course the first thing I did was scan through the guy's section. The first thing I looked for was FROM. If there was any guy from the south, we would be instant friends.

"Hmm. Eric Mitchell. Ringgold, Georgia? Never heard of it. BUT GEORGIA! YESSSS!"

I knew who Eric was the instant I saw him. I kid you not, there was something...different...about him. There was a light. It could simply have been he was in a bright blue shirt and everyone else was dressed in darker colors. It could simply have been the bulb he was standing under was brighter. I don't know. But he clearly stood out from the crowd. At one point, I saw he was talking to one of my friends. This was my chance. I hastily casually walked up to this friend just as Eric was walking away, but there must have been something about me to catch his eye because he turned around. His words, "So, Joseph, are you going to introduce us to your friends?"

SCORE! We chatted, we laughed, we talked football (of course), but then we said goodbye. I had to wait a whole week. A WHOLE WEEK! We saw each other at church that Sunday. Nothing. Not a phone number. Not even an I-hope-I-see-you-soon kind of thing. Zip. I thought all was lost.

The following Tuesday, my life changed. He sent a facebook message asking if he could come over the next night and "hang out." I was so elated! Wednesday night couldn't come fast enough! But when it did, he never came. The minutes passed. The hours passed. Around 10:30, I started to head for bed. Those who know me know I am not a night owl by any means. Just as I was leaving the living room, a knock sounded. He walked all the way to my apartment, in the rain, carrying his guitar. He wished to serenade me! Which he did, and I swooned, and it was magical. Where was Eric before coming to my place, you wonder? At another girl's house. Sheesh.

Anyway, long story even longer, Wednesday night was fantastic! So fantastic that he asked me out for that coming Friday. I said no, but not because I wanted to turn him down. I already had a prior engagement that I couldn't get out of. So we went out Saturday instead.

The rest is history. December 27, 2008, Eric got down on one knee to ask me to marry him. May 22, 2010 was the day I promised him forever.

Forever's been good so far.

A great gift for the day of love would be THE ACQUISITION. I hear the author is pretty cool.