You know, when I started this blog, I had every intention of keeping it up. At least for a year. But if I followed through on every intention I've had, I'd be a blonde Zumba instructor meteorologist turned gourmet cook with an impeccable singing voice and concert pianist capabilities living somewhere that actually has four seasons.
Today is a very special day. It's not my birthday or anniversary. It's not anyone's birthday in my family either. Today marks one year since I conceived this precious angel.
No, I don't actually keep track of every time the hubs and I...ahem...you know. (You can read all about our journey to parenthood here.) One year ago today, Eric and I nervously walked hand-in-hand into the reproductive clinic to do what I thought would be another failed attempt at conceiving. I admit I didn't want to do it again. The new school year had started (and all teachers know how chaotic that time of year is), the procedure was expensive, and frankly, I didn't want to deal with the heartache of another negative result.
So, why did you go through with it?
Great question! I'm a very religious person. I've been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon!) my entire life. Well, on the day I found out the insemination failed (Aug. 9, 2013), I fell on my knees to try and find comfort and understanding. I didn't really get an answer. So, I furthered my efforts by opening my scriptures, more specifically, the Book of Mormon, and read a verse about having abundant fruit after planting all of your seeds. The word ALL really stood out to me. I didn't feel like I could give up until I'd planted every last seed I could possibly try. And since the good Lord blessed me to start my period that day (betchya never thought a girl would say that), I felt like it was a chance I had to take.
The result?
The most beautiful baby in the world!
Whether it's religion or something else, we all have our ways of coping with tragedy and finding answers to difficult questions. And it breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces when I hear of other couples struggling with infertility, or perhaps even worse, losing their baby (and thanks to social media, I feel like I see a headline for a different tragic story every. single. day.). But I guess what I'm getting at is that you should never give up.
Hm. Such a cliche, isn't it? And the truth is, sometimes we want to give up. Sometimes we want to feel sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we want a reason to be mad. I know I did at times. But if I hadn't let go of all of that negativity, I wouldn't be waking up (multiples times) to such a precious, perfect face every morning. So, whatever hardship befalls you, please persevere. Please find someway to push through it. The reward waiting for you is worth it.
Now, to take my own advice. I'm going for a run, followed by some writing/brainstorming time (I'm looking at you, TA fans...more on book 2 later). It's time I did all I can do to make the changes I want to make.